It was a rough few months, and somehow, jumping back into the blog thing seemed daunting. I’ve talked so much about the homeless situation (which lasted a month) and the events that surrounded it, that I was just bored with it, but felt like i couldn’t just completely gloss over them and post something that just happened. So I didn’t write anything. I’m gonna attempt a condensed version of the past months so I can move on and start writing again, as exciting things are happening.

One key aspect of Integral Theory is the 4 quadrants, often referred to as I, We, It and It’s. These are four perspectives through which we can view the world. The idea is that all things arise in all 4 quadrants.

Since part of me reason for taking courses in Integral Theory is to be accepted into the cult and thus help spread the good word I am going to try sharing my responses to assignments on this here blog. I know that some of you are wondering what the hell I have gotten myself into while others have an inkling and are curious to know more. Some already know quite a bit and perhaps as this progresses you shall learn even more with me. Please feel free to question and criticize at al times.

It is time for me to take stock of my eating once again. I have felt the need for a cleanse coming on for a month or two, but have been finding excuses around every corner. Once a year, for the past four years, I have done Stanley Burrough’s ‘Master Cleanse’ for ten days.

Cuttyhunk is a cute, low-key, island full of old (inherited) homes and new (big $) summer houses. It has very few cars and quite a few golf carts, 4 wheelers, and moorings. I spent Friday night in one of the apartments in Benjamin’s parents house and then spent Saturday and Sunday night with Sean at one of his parents homes.

Reilly sent me an email on Aug 1st with a last minute plea for me to help out at Camp Bright Feathers (CBF) as a CIT (Counselor in Training) facilitator.

birth should be an empowering experience - this is just one small snippet of what her birth was like for me. i felt powerful, present, connected to all women before me, truly doing what God made my body to do.

Correlation and Causation seem to me to be two of the most commonly confused terms in the modern world. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the reporting and interpretation of genetic research.

Antoinette asked me recently why I said that one of the reasons for creating my blog was to make myself more vulnerable. My response was to tell her that I feel as if I was raised to think that I was ‘special’ and ‘different’ and that at some point I indulged these ideas too much and this was one of the beliefs that left me feeling isolated and alone in the world.

I finally watched ‘The Fountain’, a film by Darren Aronofsky. This is the guy who made Pi and Requiem for a Dream. And I have to admit, I was really blown away. Tony has been telling me for months to see this movie. He was right.

The idea of developing Integral Arts was suggested to me recently by Joanne Rubin. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand I am always interested in developing artistic expression and I feel strongly that Sangha (community-LL) is a hugely important aspect of this.

I am just finishing reading Consciousness and Healing. It is encouraging to know that some 67 doctors feel strongly enough about an integral approach to medicine to put such a book together. It doesn’t quite make we want to break my decade long moratorium on paid medical assistance, but I feel good knowing that should the need arise, they will be there.

Take it all in. Dive deep when you know not how the next breathe will come. Keep on pushing when it begins to hurt. Recognize that there is life in pain. In pain we remember that which we have let lie untouched.

In my efforts to sit still in meditation and let go I find myself reaching, grasping, for an experience of release. Perhaps you recognize the futility in this.

I am consumed by inertia. What other forces are there? Where does will fit in with this? Is life but a constant reaction of one open system to another? What is the force that allows me to sit still and decide upon a new course of action?

For a few years I have been attempting my own version of what I now call my ILP or Integral Life Practice. Recently though, I have become part of an official ILP group. It appears that, as far as I-I is concerned, NY is only the 2nd place to begin organized ILP groups. Aren’t we special?

Yesterday I had my interview with Big Brother Big Sister of Queens. I am thinking that this will be the main focus of my blog.